Information in Gunmetal Magic by Ilona Andrews
One of the marks of a professional writer is the deft handling of information, and there are some nice examples of this in this sample by Ilona Andrews. The first nice handling comes in a character introduction. If you recall in the last post, I mentioned that in Chapter 1 the sound in the MC's dream had a mirror in reality. It was someone knocking on the door: Mrs. Haffey. At Kindle Locations 193-200, the MC (Andrea Nash) describes the disheveled and worried appearance of her neighbor a floor below. She has come pounding on Nash's door in her nightgown. Just after this description and reveal of relationship, Andrews writes, "Normally Mrs. Haffey viewed her appearance as serious business. In terms of battle readiness, she was my hero--I've never seen her without her makeup and hair perfectly done. Something was really wrong" (Kindle Locations 193-200). Andrews ties physical description reveal into the plot, into what is happening now. She makes the description relevant. After all, Monica Wood in her book Description, declares that good description is not only accurate but relevant (4). Andrew's use of description here is not only relevant, it adds to story. It adds tension. Great job there.